How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
