There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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