I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Randomize
