Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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