i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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