Screwed.edu
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
