I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
