So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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