Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
