god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Randomize
