I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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