You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
