How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize
