only if we run a train.
done.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
