Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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