but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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