and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
