I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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