You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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