singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
