I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Randomize
