Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
