Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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