It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize