she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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