She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
