I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
