Will you blow on my dice?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
