He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just cropdusted the office
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
