I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
