I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
