I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
