so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I wish you could order shots online.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
