Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
