My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize