We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
