I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
