You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
