She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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