I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
