brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Congratulations! We have a period
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