some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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