she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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