batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
My boob is missing a layer of skin
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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