Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize