Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
