I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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