i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
