dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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