just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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