that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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