I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize