definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
