I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
