So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
