why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize