so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
