break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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