It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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