Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I'm jealous of your bromance
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
