She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
