im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
All the doctor said was why
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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