So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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