Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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